I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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