Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
