Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
