you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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