Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
