Kiss
Puke
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
