Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
God, I missed his penis.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
