hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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