I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize