you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
