I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
