when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
