her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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