Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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