my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
