and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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