Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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