he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
