Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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