"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
