I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
