I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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