We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
should my penis look like a turkey
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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