watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
