Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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