Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
