we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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