I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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