legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
