I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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