why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
