If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
