Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
