Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
