I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
