Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
