and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
