carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
my poor anus
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
