i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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