Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
