It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
