Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
