everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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