Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
