i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize