you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
