Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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