so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
