I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
