Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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