I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
