Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize