Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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