Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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