I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
