I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
