Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
