Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Randomize
