you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize