if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Shame - the story of my life.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
