She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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