I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
