Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
