I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
