We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
