operation harelip BJ is a go
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize