I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
