I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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